The Warriors of Hyrule: Interview!
by OkamiWolvesForever
Summary: Interviewing the warriors of Hyrule! Any question (that's not too inappropriate) any character, any time.
1. Chapter 1

** Heyyyy! Welcome, welcome! So without rambling on and on, I'll give you a general idea of how this is going to work. As you can tell by the description, this is one of those "Get the characters to answer questions" fanfics. It's so much simpler because YOU GUYS give me the inspiration and ideas, and I get the characters to answer your questions. Like I said: simple. Now, here is the outline:**

**Your user (if you don't want your user shown feel free to PM me your question and I will just use anonymous)**

**Your question**

**Dialogue between me and the chosen character**

**To give you a feel, I'll use one of my questions. **

_**Chapter 1: Link**_

Fi: Master, signs indicate that you will be live in exactly 15.87 seconds. The chosen warrior is Link.

Me: That's great, Fi. Thanks. Really. _Thanks soooo much. _

Fi: Master, I am humbled that you think such. Signs indicate you now have 12.53 seconds until you are live. I suggest you look professional.

Me: Why did I even hire you...?

Fi: Master, you hired me be-

Me: I _know. _Disclaimer, please.

Fi: Master, uploading requested line: All characters, except my Master, belong to Nintendo.

**Asked by OkamiWolvesForever, **

**So, Link. What do you think about the name of the series, Legend of Zelda, when the actual "Legend" is more centered around you, as the main character, and not actually Zelda? **

Link: Eh...

Me: Oh, right. Mute. I forgot. Okay. I can fix that... *Presses un-mute button*

Link: Woo! I can TALK now!

Me: Yes, now make use of that pretty voice of yours and ANSWER THE QUESTION.

Link: Oh, right. Sorry. Do you KNOW how hard it is to communicate when I can't talk? Anyway, getting off-topic here. Well, I think it's not HORRIBLE that Zelda's name gets to be on the logo, but I guess I do most of the work... Hey, she's royalty, right? Royalty comes first. Not some cute trainee who has epic battle skills and an awesome horse, right?

Me: Yeah, I guess you're right... Hey, the abbreviation would be LoL instead of LoZ. That would be a nice improvement, actually... Legend of Link. Hmm. Kinda nice ring to it. You dig?

Link: *shrug* It's fine I guess. Oh, the princess needs saving again? Well, I'm afraid I'll have to be on my way! *Whips out ocarina and plays Epona's Song*

Me: WAIT! YOU CAN'T BRING YOUR HORSE IN HERE!

*CRASH*

Link: *Hops on Epona and rides dramatically away as Epona's large stature knocks everything to the ground* Sorry about that! I'll fix it later!

Me: ... Fi, your Master requests you to clean up this place.

Fi: Of course, Master.

**So that's how it's gonna work. Feel free to ask any question (as long as it's not super inappropriate. I WILL do ship questions, but only following this rule.) So yeah, request any question, any character from Hyrule Warriors, any time. I promise to answer all questions, also following the previous rule, but know that I will do one character per chapter, which means I'll probably end up changing some chapters to fit more questions in for that character. Hope you enjoyed and please, if you'd like, send me a question!**

* * *

><p>Fi: Master, we have two new reviews.<p>

Me: *Immediately stops playing Hyrule Warriors* Say wha?

Fi: Sources show that two of your friends have posted questions. I suggest calling in the chosen warriors.

Me: Awesomesauce. I'll get to it, then. Who's the first question to?

**To Link: How would you feel about being a ginger? (Or any other color?) Also, are you okay with all the website 'Link" jokes out there?**

Me: Link? Gah... He better not bring that monster of a horse in here...

Fi: There is a 75% chance that he will bring Rupees to make up for the incident.

Me: Only 75%? Hmm. Isn't he rich or something? I expect AT LEAST a purple Rupee.

Link: Hey guys! I _know _I said I'd fix your place, but-

Me: SIT DOWN. You brought Rupees to make up for it, though, right?

Link: Um, yeah, actually I did...

Me: HAND THEM OVER.

Link: Okay okay, jeez! *Hands two orange Rupees*

Me: :O OHMIGOSH! TWO ORANGE RUPEES! I'M RICH!

Link: Oh, that? Puh-leaze. That's only, like, HALF of my allowance.

Me: *Jaw drops* DON'T TEMPT ME. Now, answer your question!

Link: Okay, fine. *Puts on glasses and reads* Ginger, huh...? Ginger. Wait, is this another comparison to Peter Pan?! But I HATE that guy!

Me: Hate is a powerful word! You're probably just jealous that he gets movies and everything. Plus his fairy isn't as annoying as Navi or Proxi.

Link: Did you bring me in here just to annoy me? That guy kicked my butt once when I was little. I tried swapping Navi for Tinker Bell...

Me: Okay... Well, um, answer the second part of the question.

Link: If I had to choose any other color, I think I would choose... Black. You know, like a greaser from The Outsiders. Now _that _would be cool.

Me: Would you keep your blue eyes?

Link: Definitely! I think they're my main attraction.

Me: Riiiight... Okay, well, what about the website question?

Link: Internet jokes? I can't say I hate them... but I don't necessarily like them, either. It's pretty awesome that it keeps Ganondork-er, Ganon_dorf_, out of the internet, though.

Me: How so?

Link: There are too many "Links!" Haha!

Me: Hilarious. You can go now. And I had my assistant take your ocarina away from you. You can pick it up outside.

Link: You pickpocketed me? Wow, I'm ignorant...

Me: Yup. Now, take your leave.

Link: Fine. I need my ocarina anyway.

* * *

><p>Me: Yay! Another chapter for LINK! And who doesn't love picking on a guy that wears a skirt? Okay, okay, it's a TUNIC... and then you see the pictures for Ocarina of Time. IT IS DEFINITELY A SKIRT. But anyway, because I'm feeling special, and because it's almost Valentine's day, I'm going to try to add intense humor without stepping over the line labeled "Past the K+ mark." This will all be done in a different chapter. I will try to make it worthwhile. ...This is starting to sound more like an author's note. THERE WILL BE NONE OF THAT! I will start with this chapter. Thank you Zetra, by the way. And the lot of you who reviewedasked a question. It keeps me entertained.

Fi: Master, your audience is getting bored with your endless conversation.

Me: SHUT UP AND KEEP DOWNLOADING! I do intend not to give up on that first question for Fi, Zetra. Although, Fi's calculations may be off. All in good time, my friend.

Fi: Master-

Me: NO! Now, someone find Link for me. He is needed. And not for saving Hyrule for once.

**From Zetra:**

**Lets have Link find out what it's like to be shot from a cannon in a barrel! :D**  
><strong>(JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED! MWHAHAHA! XD) <strong>

Me: *Evil grinning* Link, where is your favorite place to be? Out of all of the places available in Hyrule Warriors.

Link: Um, I dunno, the Water Temple I guess.

Me: The Water Temple? Are you SERIOUS? They'd let you into clubs meant for 21 years and older if you said you beat the Water Temple. Free drinks as a bonus if you said you beat it without the Compass and Dungeon Map. So ya know what I say to that? WRONG! Try again.

Link: Ugh. Temple of Souls!

Me: You probably like admiring all those paintings of yourself, don't you. I bet it makes you feel extra special that they were all made by Cia.

Link: Cia?! Where! Hide me! I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE PUNS ON THE MASTER SWORD!

Me: She is quite the stalker, isn't she? But don't worry. I've got the perfect place for you to hide. Come.

*Arriving at the Temple of Souls*

Me: Here. I got you a barrel. Cia will never even know you're here! You DO have good stealth skills, right?

Link: Well, if you count the incarnation of me in the WindWaker when I followed that girl around and made meowing noises when she suspected things, then yes. In fact, that whole era was designed on stealth.

Me: Good. Because I've brought in a VERY special guest with me today to help me with this chapter.

Tetra: Hey! Finally! Is it Link-chucking time?

Me: Yep! You DID bring a cannon with you, right?

Tetra: Yeah. Gonzo is taking forever to get it over here, though. HEY GONZO! HURRY IT UP!

Link: Link-chucking time...? That does NOT sound good. *Tries to walk away quietly*

Me: *Grabs Link by the scarf* You sound like a freaking bear when you walk. What happened to having an incarnation in an era where stealth is relevant? Or maybe your current incarnation is blessed with the power of not sleeping. Farore should have stuck with stealth. I don't think even the goddesses could control your sleeping habits, though. Oh, and not to mention your weird battle cries that basically tells the enemy EXACTLY where you are.

Link: Can you please stop criticizing me?

Tetra: This is fun. Want me to take over?

Me: Nah. I still have more... plans. Don't worry, Link. I've got a special chapter coming that is committed to Valentine's Day. You will all be receiving a special present from me.

Link: Presents?! Are they cookies?! Or maybe a new fairy! Or maybe a more appropriate outfit for the Great Fairy and Cia! Or maybe-

Me: Do I look like a genie in a bottle to you?!

Link: ...

Me: Tetra, get that cannon ready.

Tetra: All set!

Me: Alright Link, in ya go.

Link: Wait, what?

Me: I don't have time for this! *shoves Link into barrel* Fire it, Tetra! Make it a shot to remember!

Tetra: *fires cannon*

Me: *watches where it lands* Um, Tetra? Do you have a telescope, by any chance?

Tetra: *gulp* Yeah... *hands it to me*

Me: He is sooooo gonna kill us.

And do you know where Link landed? Well, let's just say Cia was minding her own business, painting the gazillionth portrait of her sexy Hero, when all of the sudden...

CRASH! Paint everywhere. All over Cia, all over the walls, and splattered over her nearly finished painting.

Cia: My painting...! VOOOOOLLLLLGGGAAAAA! I TOLD YOU NOT TO PLAY DRAGON WHEN I'M-

Link: Huh..? *sees Cia staring at him* Um... meow?

It soon turned into a game of hide-and-go-seek tag.

Meanwhile...

Tetra: I GOT POPCORN REFILLS!

Me and the rest of the Hyrule Warriors Cast (except for Ruto): WOO!

Ruto: That should be ME up there! LINK! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO MARRY ME!

Me: *has most fantabulous idea ever*

Cia was soon joined by Ruto. That was a spectacle that no one would ever forget. The sight of those two fighting was enough to make Link forget about his fears and settle down with some popcorn and 3-D glasses.

* * *

><p>Me: Wow, we've got so many questions for Link. Guess he's the real star of the show, huh?<p>

**From: GrayishGirl:**

**Hey Link, how does it feel to be the only trainee with a name?**

Link: The only one? Well, there are a few that I know. Remember the guy I was fighting in the beginning? His name was Fred.

Me: Fred. *raises eyebrow*

Link: Yeah, Fred! And then the two guys who yelled after me when I had that amazing decision to go save the world? Their names were Joe and Matt.

Me: Yeah, okay. Sounds to me like you're just trying to cover up for them.

Link: Ummm... okay, you got me. Hey, I was just trying to be nice for once, okay? Not really. Darunia dared me to do it.

Me: Why do you keep doing dares? Pick truth for once! Just... whatever. Seriously, how does it feel to be the only recognized trainee, huh?

Link: Well, unfortunately, it makes me the most popular guy out there. Everywhere I go, it's like: Hey Link! and I'll buy us a drink! Come on! and OHMYGOSH IT'S LINK! SOMEBODY GET THE WELCOMING COMMITTEE! AND ROSES TO THROW OVER HIS HEAD WHEN HE WALKS BY! FORM A PATH FOR HIM, GUYS!

Me: Well that sure sounds entertaining.

Link: Yeah, but that's not it! On the battlefield, it's like: AH! I'VE BEEN HIT! and then they see me and they're like: IT'S LINK! HE'LL SAVE ME! and then the people who are like: Oh, hey Link! So after this super dangerous battle, want to get a drink with me? I mean, it's not like there's a 75% chance that I'm gonna die or anything. and then when Fi comes and confirms that they're actually going to die, they're like: Oh, well that's too bad. Why not give my Rupees to that guy over there and he'll buy a drink for ya?

Me: Wooooow. That's great!

Link: NO IT'S NOT! First of all, people are DYING, and expect me to save them and then there's nothing I can do and they just DIE. Do you know how much that hurts the soul? Second, if I die out there, everyone will just be like: LINK FAILED! Okay, someone find the next hero. I'd lose my reputation!

Me: Link. Listen to me. You're not gonna die, mkay? You NEVER die. And even if you do, you're automatically revived. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, MAN! Besides, you wouldn't want Princess Zelda thinking that you're a failure, now, do ya?

Link: NO! She doesn't seriously believe that, does she? DOES SHE? PLEASE SAY NO!

Me: No, jeez, calm down! And jeez, stop blushing. Your face is like, cherry red. Get a hold of yourself, buddy! Don't make me get Princess Zelda so she can slap you!

Link: Okay! Sorry! Don't bring Zelda here. She can't see me like this!

Me: Alright! I won't. Sheesh. You can go now. Go... do whatever it is you do with Princess Zelda or something.

Link: Okay, thanks! Seriously, thanks for the words of encouragement.

Me: *raises eyebrow*

Link: I'm going, I'm going!


	2. Chapter 2

Me: Yay! We can finally bring Volga in here!

Fi: There is a 100% that he is capable of setting this studio on fire.

Me: ...

**To Volga: What is your favorite sport? **

Me: Please try not to set anything on fire...

Volga: Let's make this quick. There are enemies to be killed. Wait, I suppose this gives me a reason to not have to listen to Cia's ranting, and I don't have to help her with that Cia x Link fanfic! Yes! In that case, I have all the time in the world. Ask away! Please, take your time.

Me: Cia is crazy. I actually feel bad for you. By the way, a certain friend of mine asked this question... Let's just say she's a huge fan of you. You better make your answer good, or you'll have to deal with her... I don't know if I'd want to be around for that.

Volga: That doesn't sound very tempting. Very well. My answer to that question would be... Well, swimming, actually.

Me: Swimming?! But dude, you're a dragon. FIRE, dude. That doesn't mix well...

Volga: Are you saying that I am incapable of swimming? First of all, I'm positive I would be absolutely fine, having taken off all armor and undergarments that give me my burning qualities. And second, who said that I swim in water? Lava is a liquid too, is it not? It's quite refreshing.

Me: Oh, well, I'd bet my friend would like to see you swim in water, then.

Volga: Wasn't there a rule for not being inappropriate?

Me: Yes. But that's barely scratching the surface. Well, you're free to go now. Good luck with your boss there. *Opens bottle of water*

Volga: Don't spill that on me.

Me: *_Accidentally _spits it out on Volga* Oh, I am so, so sorry!

Volga: IT BURNS! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!

Me: Wouldn't it help if... ya know... you took off your armor and stuff? *whispers* Fi, get my phone! My friend's GOTTA see this...


	3. Chapter 3

Fi: Downloading requested data. Esimated time is 2 days.

Me: Holy crap, it takes you that long to come up with an answer? I thought you knew everything!

Fi: The extent of my knowledge is only filed under the categories of environment and battle strategy. Downloading information on the universe will take, when estimated, 2 days. I suggest you keep from bothering me, or it might result in miscalculated information.

Me: And that's about how close you can get to being rude, huh? Well, anyway, we're doing that question/dare/thing for Midna while we wait. By the way, that is one deep question, Ayako Zetra! I bet Fi will have a whole ton of fun downloading the answer... So without further ado, here is Midna's bit of fun!

**From PyscoFangirl:**

**Hey Zant, check dis out! *turn him into an imp* PAYBACK FOR WHAT HAPPENED IN TWILIGHT PRINCESS! **

Me: I'm pretty sure that isn't a question. But I thought, what the heck. Turns out, it was a pretty enjoyable conversation. Midna sure had a field day.

* * *

><p>Zant: What am I here for? Ganonpork assigned me to be the guardian of the Allied Base. He'll kick my-<p>

Me: My, you guys really like to give Ganondork nicknames! Anyway, you're going to have to have to stay for a little while until I can get Midna here. She isn't cooporating. *Calls Midna again*

Midna: _What the heck?! I TOLD you-_

Me: DO YOU WANT TO KICK ZANT'S BUTT OR NOT?!

Midna: ..._HECK YEAH!_

Me: Then. Get. Over. Here. NOW!

Midna: *Teleports* Where's that son of a-

Zant: MIDNA?!

Midna: ZANT!

Me: ME! ...Right. Sorry. Midna, you are officially allowed to turn Zant into an imp as payback.

Midna: Oh, I'll do more than that... *Holds Zant up by his neck* HEY! Eyes up here! Now, I am going to make your life a living Hell. I'll squish you like the dung beetle you are!

Zant: Help... me...

Agitha: Oh, gracious, please! Don't squish a poor, defenseless little beetle!

Midna: Who invited the bug lady?

Me: Poor? Defenseless? Have you SEEN those things up close?!

Midna: This is besides the point! Just let me torture Zant already!

Me: Okay, fine. Shoo, Agitha. So... when you turn him into an imp and stuff, will he get his own animal to carry him around? Ya know, like you had Wolf Link?

Midna: Hmm. Riding Link was fun. Zant shall not have that luxury!

Me: Um, can you please rephrase that first bit?

Midna: ...There will be worse things to come if you don't let me torture him now. And to answer your previous question, I would let him have a pig. They're fat, slow, and related to Ganon.

Me: AND THEY HAVE BACOOOOON!

Midna: I hate bacon.

Me: Me too! So I'm not the only one!

Zant: *Still being choked* I'm... guess... ing... a... sor... ry... won't... cut... it?

Midna: Oh, a sorry would indeed "cut" it!

*_Time Skip_*

Me: Long story short, Midna got her revenge on the now pig-riding imp...

**No pigs were harmed in the making of this chapter. And sorry to pig-lovers. Pigs are adorable. (That may or may not have been my opinion.)**

* * *

><p>Me: Oh no... Zant's back. I wonder what he named his pig!<p>

Zant: Ganonpork was NOT amused... he... he said... t-that...

Me: Are you crying?

Zant: HE SAID THAT I WAS WORTHLESS! PLEASE! CHANGE ME BACK TO MY FORMER SELF! PLEASE! I WILL DO ANYTHINNNNNNNNNG!

Me: O.O

**PsycoFangirl:Sorry about last time Zant. Would you like a hug? Also how old are you? I know Ghirahim is like 17 or 18... **

Me: Zant is currently having an emotional breakdown. I think he really could use a hug, actually. I feel really bad now. *Snaps fingers, Zant returns to former self*

Zant: *still crying*

Me: Okay, you can seriously stop crying now. You're back!

Zant: I MISS GILBERT!

Me: Ummmmm... who is that...?

Zant: THE PIG!

Me: O-kay. *sigh* I'll get you your darn pig. I wonder if Midna was like this after she basically dumped Link...

*_Flashback_*

Midna: ... See you later... *breaks mirror*

Link: WHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYY! MIDNAAAAAAA! *cries* BUT I... I LOVE YOU! IT CAN'T END THIS WAYYYY!

Zelda: GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF! *slaps Link*

Midna: Finally! Back in the Twilight Realm. That Link was as dumb as a box of rocks. Sure was a cutie though. Wait... no... NOOO!

People of the Twilight Realm: YAY! OUR RULER IS BACK! Um... what's wrong?

Midna: I CAN'T RIDE LINK ANYMORE!

People of the Twilight Realm: O.O JUST BACK AWAY SLOWLY GUYS. OR SMILE AND NOD.

*_Flashforward_*

Me: I got your stupid pig, alright?!

Zant: *still crying*

Me: Goddesses. WHAT IS IT NOW?!

Zant: YOU CALLED HIM STUPID!

Me: UUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH! ALRIGHT! YOUR STUPID PIG IS NOT STUPID OKAY?!

Zant: *sniffle* You promise?

Me: You. Have. GOT. To be kidding me.

Zant: PROMISE!

Me: ALRIGHT! I freaking promise, okay? You sound like a five-year-old!

Zant: That's because I am five years old.

Me: Say what now?

Zant: *randomly starts laughing*

Me: What's so funny?!

Zant: You fell for it! I'm 23! Pfffft... FIVE. Hilarious! You humans are so ignorant!

Me: *turns Gilbert into bacon*

Zant: NOOOOOOOO! GILLLLBERRRRT!

Me: *texts Link* _Hey do u like bacon?_

Link: _Yeah! Who doesn't? Wait, how did u get my #?_

Me: *sarcastic*_ Bcuz I stalk you. No u moron. Bcuz I'm just that awesome, okay? Don't question it. _

Link: _I wouldn't be surprised if u stalk me. I already have millions of stalkers already. I wonder how many valentines I'll get._

Me: _Just come get your darn bacon. _


	4. Chapter 4

Me: And Fi is STILL downloading information. I think you might give her a concussion. I won't have to listen to her pointing out the obvious. Awesomesauce. So I got another question... and I feel like there must be some signifigance with Ghirahim and lava. There must be something I'm missing here. So Zetra, (mind if I call ya that? It seems to be the only part I remember of your user. Plus it rhymes with Tetra. And Tetra is awesome. Or is it Zelda and Tetra together? Genius.) Is there any signifigance? I feel like I have read something somewhere about Ghirahim and lava. It sounds really dirty. I AM INTRIGUED. Annnnyyyywaaaayyy...

**From: Ayako Zetra**

**Okay then, GHIRAHIM!**

**...Can you swim in lava? If so, I WANNA SEE IT! :D**

Me: As Zetra says and I quote: Okay then, GHIRAHIM! *flashes devilish smile*

Ghirahim: Oh my, this place you have here needs some serious cleaning up. How am I supposed to spread chaos in such a clean little place like this?

Me: Just sit down and answer the darn question. I don't have time for petty remarks.

Ghirahim: You sound just like my Master. I suppose I should be inclined to answer, then, hmm?

Me: And you sound like Fi. At least she doesn't hum and dance... wait... well, she dances better than you, okay? ANSWER THE DARN QUESTION!

Ghirahim: My, someone is a little bit grumpy today. Fine, fine. Swimming in lava, hmm? It sounds like fun.

Me: Good! *snaps fingers* Because I have just summoned a giant pool of lava. Don't question it. Should I invite Volga, too? Maybe Link too, so he can dry you off with that Magic Rod of his? ...That just sounded awful. That may or may not have been intentional. Nothing compared to puns on the Master Sword, though.

Ghirahim: You are utterly confusing. Please do not invite Volga. I take pleasure in watching him suffer under Cia's ranting and her constant whining on that fanfiction of hers. Even if I am not watching him suffer now, I know it fills my heart with sparkles and rainbows to know that he is going through utter torture.

Me: Sparkles and rainbows...? Shame. I was really starting to like you, too. Better than that poor pig-riding imp known as Zant. But seriously. Zetra came here to watch you either drown or prosper in that lava. And I made it extra burning. So get in there before I shove you and then see how you fare when I poor water on you. I might even invite Scaldera to make it extra crispy.

Ghirahim: Ah, Scaldera. He was my favorite pet. Before he decided to try and eat me. I was hoping he would manage to gobble up Mr. Hero there, but-

Me: STOP PROCRASTINATING. *shoves in lava*

Ghirahim: MY BEAUTIFUL CAPE! IT'S RUINED! WHHHHHHHY!

Me: SHUT UP AND START SWIMMING!

Ghirahim: THIS IS-surprisingly cold.

Me: *texting Volga* _2 bad u r not here for this. I just pushed Ghirahim into a pool of lava. I bet u r proud. _*looks up* So he's not dead y- wait, what?

Volga: _I am 2 busy listening to Cia's ranting. Why is it always me? Good idea, though. I hope Mr. Demon Lord enjoys the Jacuzzi. _

Me: That's it! I'm inviting Scoldera! *whistle* Wait, I can't whistle. *pout* Fine. I'll do it the old fashioned way. HERE BOY! HERE SCALDERA! He's not coming. Hmm... I FOUND YOUR FAVORITE TREAT! GHIRAHIM A LA MODE!

*Scaldera comes running/crawling/scuttling*

Me: Works every time. Enjoy your treat! I hope he's extra crispy.

* * *

><p>Me: Oh, so we bring in Ghirahim again, huh? Ooh, this sounds like an interesting question.<p>

**From: love3509**

**To Ghirahim: What do you do in your spare time (AKA not trying to take over the world, revive Demise, etc)?**

Ghirahim: Spare time? Well, I do seem to have a lot of it these days. I specifically enjoy annoying any acquaintance, friend or not. Especially Link. He seems to react the best to my annoyances.

Me: Oh, I'd love to see an example!

Ghirahim: Well lucky for you, I've got it all on video! All of my best pranks. I think we should save Link for last. Save the best for last, as they say.

Me: That's fine. Let's see what you've got!

_*Video 1-Volga* _

_Ghirahim: Volga! Hey, Volga! _

_Volga: *ignores*_

_Ghirahim: Volga! Volga Volga Volga Volga Volga Volga __Volga Volga Volga Volga Volga Volga Volga __Volga Volga Volga Volga Volga Volga __Volga Volga Volga Volga Volga Volga Volga Volga Volga Volga Volga Volga-_

_Volga: WHAAAAAAAAT! _

_Ghirahim: ...Hi. Hehehehehe! *teleports away* _

_Volga: One of these days I'm going to cut off his tongue. _

_*Video 2-Zant*_

_Ghirahim: *Sneaks up behind Zant and impersonates Midna's voice* ZANT! I'M GOING TO TURN YOU BACK INTO A PIG-RIDING IMP AGAIN! _

_Zant: AHHHHH! *runs into wall* _

_Ghirahim: BAHAHAHAHA! _

_*Video 3-Wizzro* _

_Ghirahim: *hides behind wall and waits for Wizzro to float by* _

_Wizzro: *whistles*_

_Ghirahim: *jumps out* BOO! _

_Wizzro: GAH! *hides in ring*_

_Ghirahim: I AM FRODO BAGGINS AND I HAVE COME TO THROW YOU INTO A VOLCANO! MWAHAHAHA! _

_Wizzro: *comes out from ring* Ugh, Ghirahim. I should've known. Get out of my way! _

_Ghirahim: YOU SHALL NOT PASS! _

_Wizzro: UGH! _

_*Video 4-Ganondorf* _

_Ghirahim: Heyyyy, Dorfy! So, I was planning this HUGE party. I bet you wanna know who it was for, right? Right? Huh? _

_Ganondorf: *ignores* _

_Ghirahim: I'll take that as a yes! Okay, so it was a party for your wedding with Nabooru! _

_Ganondorf: FOR DIN'S FREAKING SAKE. HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT. I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO SAY IT AGAIN, YOU KNOW WHY?_

_Ghirahim: Oh Masterful One, tell me why! _

_Ganondorf: *turns and punches Ghirahim* _

_Ghirahim: OKAY I'M SORRY! IT WAS A JOKE! A JOKE! SPARE ME, PLEASE! _

_*Video 5-Link* _

_Ghirahim: *sneaks into Link's room while he's sleeping* _

_Link: *snores lightly* _

_Ghirahim: *grabs pans and starts banging them together* WAKEY WAKEY! _

_Link: AHHHHHHHHH! *falls off bed* _

_Ghirahim: PRICELESS! _

_Link: *grabs pan and throws it at Ghirahim's face* _

_*BONG* _

_Link: HOW'D THAT FEEL?! HUH? _

_Ghirahim: Owie..._

Me: Ha! Link bested you with your own frying pan?! Now THAT'S priceless!

Ghirahim: Oh my, seems I have played some of the pranks-gone-wrong videos. Oh well. They were funny in the beginning.


	5. Chapter 5

**Happy Valentine's Day! Here's a special little chapter for you.**

Me: Yay! Valentine's day! I'm gonna give out special gifts to our cast. This should be fun. Please welcome Link, Impa, Sheik, Lana (I'm TRYING to go in order) Zelda, Ganondork -er, excuse me, _dorf_- Darunia, Ruto, Agitha, Midna, Zant, Fi, Ghirahim, Cia, Volga, and Wizzro. Forgetting anyone? I sure hope not. Let's start with Link.

Link: Yeah! I get to go first! So, what'd I get? Huh? Tell me!

Me: You are going to LOVE this. *hands present*

Link: *opens* An... an EMPTY BOTTLE?! HOW DID YOU KNOW!

Me: I put a cookie in it, too. We all know how much you love your bottles. And cookies. Oh, and I have one more present for you. It's even better than the bottle.

Link: Better than an empty bottle? No way!

Me: Oh yes way. Come stand over here. Now, I know it's not Christmas, but I found some mistletoe... well, stole it more likely... let's just say it's the original mistletoe. Very powerful. Someone get Zelda for me!

Link: So you're saying I get to kiss Zelda? IT'S ABOUT TIME! I don't need mistletoe for that!

Me: We need it for a future chapter. Might as well give the heads-up that it's here.

Link: What could we possibly need it for later?

Me: ...You're not gonna like the answer. I'm not gonna tell you.

Zelda: I was called? What is it that you need? I will happily oblige.

Me: As part of Link's Valentine's gift, you have- er, get- to kiss him. Um, Your Majesty. That's okay, right? _Don't wanna mess with royalty or anything... or Impa, for that matter. She's the one that scares me._

Zelda: Kiss Link? OF COURSE I WILL! I've been waiting for this!

Me: ...I'm glad you're enthusiastic about it...

And while Link happily enjoys his Valentine's gift... Let's move on...

Me: I REALLY had no idea what to get you, Impa. But then someone submitted a question that I haven't quite gotten to. I doubt you're familiar with the kinds of music we have these days, so I got you an iPod and some headphones. Try out some of the different stations. You may be surprised. But whatever you do, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, look up music videos. They are scary.

Impa: Music and headphones? I don't believe I'll have time for that.

Me: That's the thing. It makes doing chores so much more fun. Just make sure you're alone before you decide to bust some moves, mkay? You never know who could be watching... Now, onto the next cast member! Sheik! Which will be confusing since Sheik is Zelda but let's pretend they're two different people for a day, alright?

Sheik: I understand you are giving away presents for Valentine's Day.

Me: Sure am! And your present is... A PILE OF BOOKS! Sorry, you seem like the kind of person who reads...

Sheik: I'm pretty sure that spot is reserved for Shad from the Twilight Era, but I thank you all the same.

Me: Yeah, it was a pretty crappy gift. But I couldn't think of anything else. Onto the next character, Zelda.

Who is still kissing Link...

Me: Wow, mistletoe is more powerful than I thought... they are REALLY going at it, aren't they? ...Enough about that. I'll just leave her gift -which is a new bow that I like to call the Mood Bow (think of a mood ring. Now put two and two together.)- in the corner. Remind me to give it to her at the end.

Great. Ganondorf is next.

Me: I got you a stuffed version of Nabooru. Oh, and a plate of bacon. It doesn't have anything to do with your other version... no, of course not... hehehe...

Ganondorf: FOR DIN'S SAKE! I AM NOT NABOORU'S BOYFRIEND!

Me: I didn't say that you were... you are both Gerudos, though... NOT THAT IT MEANS ANYTHING, OF COURSE...

Ganondorf: I am leaving!

Me: WAIT! Aww, Ganondork... man, at least take the bacon!

Annnnd, he's gone. Sorry, Ganondork.

Me: Ummm, Darunia is next? Oh, have I got the PERFECT thing for you. But it involves Link. Holy crap! He's still at it with Zelda! Jeez! Okay. Darunia, I'm saving yours until near the end when we need that mistletoe back.

Darunia: Of course, brother! Just make it good, though, huh?

Me: Wouldn't it be "Sister" instead of "Brother"? I am a girl, just so you know.

Darunia: It's tradition. I don't speak to many girls, anyway.

Me: Okayyyy. I think Ruto is next. I got you a pretty necklace with a seashell in it!

Ruto: I am royalty! I deserve a better-

Me: And a plushie of Link.

Ruto: ...YES! *hugs plushie*

Me: And now for Agitha. Gee, I really had a hard time for her... it's not like there's one thing she's obsessed with or anything... so I just got her a badge that says: Princess of the Insect Kingdom. I also got a giant butterfly plushie.

Agitha: Oh, thank you! I'm sure the insects will forever be grateful to you for bestowing upon me such an honorable gift!

Me: Yeah, okay. Just as long as you don't send a thank-you card with a spider in it or something. It will get squished. Or more likely I will be running away screaming in fear. Spiders are not my thing. Moving on.

Midna: It's my turn!

Me: Yup. Because I am obsessed with plushies, you get a Wolf Link plushie! *whispers* I also got you a picture of Zant, after you... messed him up, shall we say. It's him trying to ride Gilbert, his pig. This is just between you and me, though!

Midna: BEST GIFT EVER!

Me: Okay Zant. Your turn. I got you some shades! _Because your eyes are so freaking creepy!_

Zant: Shades?

Me: Yeah, like sunglasses. They make you look COOL. Here, put 'em on. Quick! I need to give everyone else their presents! _Hurry up so I don't have to see your eyes anymore! _

Zant: EVERYTHING IS DARK!

Me: Isn't that the way you like it? Whatever. Fi! You're up next.

Fi: Master, I do not require gifts, though your kindness is appreciated.

Me: Quiet, Fi. Everyone gets a present here. Yours is duct tape.

Fi: There is a 90% chance that I will enjoy this gift.

Me: _You won't be saying that when you figure out what I intend on using it for. _Yeah, let me just put it on ya! *puts duct tape on Fi* _YAYYYYYYYYY! _

Fi: Mmmmmamamsmmamagmabmsb...

Me: It works! Okay. GHIRAHIM! You're up!

Ghirahim: I want my cape back.

Me: That's exactly what I got you. It's a Mood Cape! It changes with your mood. Pretty awesome, huh?

Ghirahim: Does this mean it can be rainbow-colored?! WHOOPEE!

Me: Um, yeah, totally. Yay! It's Cia's turn! Well actually, this is where I bring in Darunia. Darunia, your present is having permission to give Link a Goron Hug!

Darunia: Yeah! I can do that! That little rascal tried running away from me last time!

Me: Plus I need the mistletoe for Cia. Darunia, go have fun!

Darunia: YEAH!

Link doesn't even notice, as he's... well, busy... Darunia sneaks up behind him...

GORON HUG!

Link: GAHHHHHHHH! *crunch*

Me: OH MY GODDESSES! LINK ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!

Link: Can't... breathe... crushing... bones...

Me: Any tighter and he'll explode... Um... Darunia! You're killing him! YOUR TIME'S UP!

Darunia: Always wanted to do that. Thanks, Brother!

Me: We may need a doctor. Nope, I think Zelda's got it covered. Wait... we need Link again... CIA! Your turn!

Cia: Oh, it involves Link?! Count me in!

Me: Yeah, under the mistletoe. Link! You too!

Link: Oh no...

Cia: Yay!

Me: *shoves Link under mistletoe with Cia*

Link: NO! MISTLETOE... TOO... STRONG...

Cia: It's about time. Come on, Hero...

Link: *cries* WHY ME!

Me: Oh, and another plushie of Link for you, too. I'll just set that over there. And it's Volga's turn!

Volga: What could be in store for me?

Me: A VOLVAGIA PLUSHIE! :D

Volga: Volvagia? He looks signifigantly familiar...

Me: Maybe because you spend too much time in the mirror... have you looked at your helmet lately?

Volga: ...What about it?

Me: Never mind... Um, Wizzro, your turn?

Wizzro: Ah ha ha! What did I get? What did I get?

Me: I got you a pair of glasses. *evil smile*

Wizzro: Glasses? What are they for?

Me: Hehehehehe...

Navi: Hey! You forgot about me!

Link: ... *unsheathes sword and goes after Navi*

Me: No... Link... NO! BAD LINK! BAD! STOP IT RIGHT NOW! *Tackles*

Darunia: DOG PILE!

Me: No! Wait, Darunia, NO-

*squish*

**Well this was long. Sorry it's so late. I was busy playing Majora's Mask that I just got for the 3DS today! I didn't even know it was supposed to come out yesterday! I found out around 2 in the morning... Hehehehe... I was pretty crazy after that... **


	6. Chapter 6

Me: So I got a really interesting question. I didn't even realize this! Did anyone else?

**From: HolyMaiden24**

**This seems pretty interesting.**

**Darunia and Link: I know Link isn't the same Link from Oot, but you two are the only guys on the good side, and there must be some sort of sworn brother thing still in effect. Do you two do any guy activities together?**

Me: Still can't believe there's only two guys on the good side. Wow. One of these days Link needs to get a guy companion. Besides Linebeck, if he counted. Anyway, moving on. *sees barrel start to move* What the?

Link: *jumps out of barrel* Okay. Coast is clear. No Cia, no Darunia- GAH! *sees Darunia* WHY IS HE HERE?!

Me: Um, you have to answer a question... Darunia, can you please agree to not scare Link in any way until you leave this building? Just work together for a little bit, mkay? Please?

Darunia: Okay. Fine.

Me: Good. Thanks.

*Link and Darunia read the question*

Darunia: Link! Tell them about the DARES, brother!

Link: O.O

Me: I am intrigued... *gives the 'Care to tell me all about it?' look*

Link: Anything but the dares...

Me: Come on, Link! Don't make Darunia hug you again!

Link: Okay okay! We played Truth or Dare once... and I always pick dares, for some reason...

Me: Uh huh. Go on.

Link: I CAN'T DO IT, MAN! YOU TELL THEM DARUNIA!

Darunia: With pleasure. I dared Link to do a battle in the postman outfit.

Me: NO! ANYTHING BUT THE POSTMAN OUTFIT! AHHHH! Did he accept it...?

Darunia: *laughs* Yeah! After I forced him...

Link: Those shorts are TIGHT! It was AWFUL! Do you know how hard it is to fight with that thing on?! The best I could do was make my enemies die of shock when they saw me in that ridiculous thing!

Darunia: And then I dared him to flirt back to the Great Fairy. I forced him to do that, too.

Me: You would think he would've learned his lesson by then.

Darunia: Apparently not.

Link: Okay, now THAT was bad. He made me flirt back. I mean, it's bad enough she even FLIRTS with me, but when I have to flirt back...

Me: Thus the Great Fairy as a weapon?

Link: *gulp* Yeah... IT'S SO HARD TO BREATHE IN THAT BOTTLE!

Me: Well now you know how fairies feel, huh? The WindWaker fairies, though... watching you bottle up one of them broke my heart. The look they had on their face was all like: WHY ME! WHY! LET ME OUT PLEEEAASE! PLEASE!

Darunia: That's probably why most of the fairies nowadays have no faces, so you can't understand their pleas.

Me: LINK! HOW COULD YOU?!

Link: Hey, it was save the world with fairies there to save you or go it alone and risk the world getting destroyed! What else was I supposed to do!

Me and Darunia: *crosses arms*

Me: We're done here. Goodbye, fairy-torturer.

Link: I am NOT a fairy-

Darunia: *picks up Link by the back of his collar* Come on, brother. Let's go play more Truth or Dare.

Link: NOOOO!


	7. Chapter 7

Me: So I've given Impa a couple of days to listen to music. Let's hope she tried it. I know I can't resist music. I hope she's that way too...

**From GrayishGirl:**

**Impa, what is your favorite genre in music?**

*Impa walks in dancing and mouthing the words to Shake It Off by Taylor Swift*

Me: Ummm... enjoying your music?

Impa: *pulls out one headphone* Huh?

Me: Now I know how my mom feels...

Impa: What was that?

Me: Oh goddesses. TAKE OUT THE HEADPHONES, PLEASE AND THANK YOU.

Impa: But I was listening to Shake It Off by-

Me: Taylor Swift, I know. Wait, did you listen to her country albums?

Impa: YES! It was awesome!

Me: Ooooh, what about Imagine Dragons?!

Impa: Oh, yeah! And OneRepublic!

Me: Yeah! Oh, have you heard the song Honey, I'm Good by Andy Grammer?

Impa: Why, no, I haven't. Is it any good?

Me: Heck yeah! It's unique, in its own way. It's got a great beat. You should definitely try it.

Impa: Good to know! Okay, and to finally answer that question... I like just about every genre. Just don't give me too much rap. I'm not much for it. Other than that, music is AWESOME. Oh, and I quite like Fall Out Boy.

Me: Yeah, they're pretty good, too! *checks watch* Oh my, looks like I have another appointment scheduled. Enjoy your music!

Impa: You gave these to me, right? Because if they were meant to be borrowed... well, my friend, you won't be getting them back any time soon.

Me: No, they were a complete gift! Just... don't make them blow up or anything.

Impa: *already has headphones in and walking out*

Me: Okay. I see how it is. MAYBE I'LL JUST PUT IN MY HEADPHONES THEN, HUH? Oh wait... they're already in... thanks Pandora!


	8. Chapter 8

Me: Just a reminder, Fanfiction doesn't send emails for chapter updates, and as you know by now I don't like to make every question a chapter because that would be a lot of chapters and would make this fanfic a giant mess. So if you submit a question for a character that already has a chapter, just check that chapter to see if I've updated it. (I try to finish questions as soon as I get them, so hopefully it won't take too long.) Thanks! And to everyone who submitted a question, friendly review, or simply just laughed at least once while reading this, thank you ever so much for enjoying it!

**1st question from TwilightPrince101:**

**Cia and Lana: What was your name when you two were one person? Was it like, Ciana or Lania or something? **

Me: Hmm, so we can get both Cia and Lana in here? Finally! Two birds with one stone! Yay!

Cia: Oh, when we were one person? Ha! I was always the dominant one. Our name was originally Cia. Lana just found her own name after Ganondorf kicked her out.

Lana: Yeah, but I was always there to keep Cia in check when she got too crazy. I basically controlled the balance.

Me: Interesting... oh, and I forgot that Cia kind of died in the end, so... well, this is confusing. But wait, if Cia died... then how did Lana survive if they are both the same person? Wait, what?! Okay, let's just pretend Cia never died, okay?

Lana: I can accept that.

Cia: Pfft, of course I'm not dead.

Me: Okay, good. So, how would you two like... become the same person again?

Lana: I'm pretty sure we'd have to do some kind of ritual, but I'm not sure.

Cia: It's really hard to believe we're the same person. I mean, we have completely different clothing styles, and I don't have a ridiculous ponytail...

Lana: Hey! I LIKE my ponytail, okay?

Cia: You won't be liking it after some moron pulls it.

Me: Girls, girls! We don't need you two fighting, okay? No bloodshed, please!

Lana and Cia: Fine.

(This chapter was too short, so I'm adding in the second question from TwilightPrince101.)

Me: So, Lana, do you have a major crush on Link, but not one that was like Crazy Fangirl over here, the one who would rip the world apart to have him?

Lana: Well, I, um...

Cia: LANA! NOT YOU, TOO! NO ONE GETS LINK BUT ME! HE'S MINE. MINE!

Me: Maybe we should just ask Link who he prefers. *watches as Cia yells at Lana* Or maybe I could just watch this go down.

Cia: -AND WHEN I FINALLY HAVE HIM, OH, WHEN I HAVE HIM... HEHEHEHE...

Me: And this is where I step in to make sure nothing too innapropriate happens. Answer, Lana.

Lana: Yes, I kind of do. But I can settle for someone else I guess, but...

Me: But you love Link too, right?

Lana: Yeah...

Me: Let's see, that's... about 4 girls who are after Link. And that's canon. Non-canon, and it's about 4 million.

What would happen if Link overheard that last part?

Link: Holy crap, I'm famous!


	9. Chapter 9

**3rd question from TwilightPrince101: **

**Cia: Why exactly do you wear that revealing dress? I get that you may have used it to get a better chance at attracting Link, but seriously! You wear it everywhere you go! I'm surprised that Volga and Wizzro didn't automatically join you when they first saw you! **

Me: I, too, would really like to know that actually. Good question...

Cia: Revealing dress? Oh, you think THIS is revealing? Nah, I have an even better one, I just choose not to wear it because it would scare everyone off. Would you like me to fetch it?

Me: I would definitely NOT like to see it, thanks...

Cia: Well, if you insist. I wear this one because, yes, I would really hope Link would be attracted to it. I think it works, don't you?

Me: Yeah, totally..! _Only because he wanted to kill you faster after seeing THAT..._

Cia: I'm glad you agree. I just need a better trap...

Me: Ya know, maybe if you... wore a better dress... not so revealing... and maybe if you just straight-up apologized for any inconvenience you may have caused, you could have a better chance?

Cia: What? So I could have that no-good Zelda fight me over him? No! I shall not stand for it! ZELDA SHALL PERISH!

Me: Um... I gotta make a phone call real quick, mkay?

Cia: AND WHEN I GET MY CHANCE-

Me: I'll take that as 'okay.' *calls Zelda* Zelda, you are in grave danger.

Zelda: _Why, how so? _

Me: I may or may not have set Cia up against you...

Zelda: _Cia?! Is she planning on taking Link again? NEVER! Let her come and meet her doom! _

Me: Yeah, uh, I gotta go bye! *hangs up* Annnnnnd I think I just started another war for Link. Lovely.

Cia: OOH, EVEN BETTER! YOU! I NEED YOUR HELP!

Me: Me? Aww, no! BUT I'M NEUTRAL!

Cia: You will help me or I will make your death a long and torturous one.

Me: HELP!

*Zelda suddenly appears*

Zelda: YOU WILL NEVER HAVE LINK!

Cia: YOU! DIE, LINK-STEALER!

Me: Don't make me take desperate measures..!

*Zelda and Cia both totally ignore me*

Me: Well, you asked for it! *Hits both Zelda and Cia over the head with a frying pan* Ya know, I really like frying pans. They should be the ultimate weapon. Ooh, what if Link used a frying pan instead of a sword? THE MASTER FRYING PAN! That should definitely be a thing.


	10. Chapter 10

**WARNING: THIS IS PROBABLY A T-RATED CHAPTER. Well, near the end at least. CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED. I know I'm out of order here, but this chapter and the next one just HAD to come up because I've had the ideas for them for a while ^.^ and I think they're hilarious. And I don't normally laugh at my own jokes. Enjoy! **

**7th question from TwilightPrince101: **

**Link and Young Link: Do you think it's weird seeing a different version of yourself in the same place as you? And what was your first thought when you first crossed paths? **

Me: OHMYGOSH! YOU. ARE. ADORABLE.

Link: Thanks. I get that a lot.

Me: Not you, moron! *points at Young Link* Him! He's soooo cute!

Link: ...I see how it is...

Me: *hugs Young Link* Can I keep you? Please! Look at that adorable face!

Young Link: Yeah, I guess. Can I have some cookies, please? Thanks.

Me: And he even has MANNERS! I am SO keeping him.

Young Link: *sends Link an evil smile*

Link: You little brat!

Me: *gasp* How DARE you speak to him that way! *hits Link over the head with a frying pan*

Link: OWWWW!

Proxi: Yeah! Get 'im! Hit him where it counts!

Link: Gah! No! Please don't! I'll be nice! I swear!

Me: You better apologize to him right now, mister! I'm going to get the cookies. *hands frying pan to Young Link* If he tries anything, feel free to give him a good beating.

Young Link: *waits for me to go into other room* Quick, take this! *shoves frying pan into Link's hand*

Link: What-

Young Link: *pretends to be unconscious*

Me: Did you apol-*sees frying pan in Link's hand and Young Link on the floor*

Link: This isn't what it looks like!

Me: *kicks Link where it counts*

Link: Oh... Farore... *slumps to ground*

Proxi: WOOHOO! Nice kick!

Me: I know, right?

Young Link: *pretends to wake up* Link hit me with the frying pan!

Me: Yeah, I know. Don't worry. He has consequences. The cookies are on the table if you want some.

Link: Thanks! You're awesome!

Me: Awwwww! You're awesome too, lil' bro.

Link: Why... would you DO that?

Me: SIT DOWN AT THE TABLE! We have business to discuss.

*Me, Link, and Young Link all sit at the table*

Link: *tries to reach for cookie*

Me: NO! *whacks Link's hand with wooden spoon* You can't have any. Now, start answerin'!

Link: JEEZ! Fine! Goddesses! Oh, when I first saw that little rascal on the battlefield... I was like: Oooh, another me! Dude, we're going to be BEST FRIENDS. Turns out I was wrong. There's only room for one Link, and that's me!

Me: *puts on cowboy hat and boots* I beg to differ, Wyatt.

Link: Wyatt? Who the heck is that?

Young Link: Do you know ANYTHING? Classic history here, buddy! Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday! Pay attention in history class!

Link: Well it's not MY fault I have sleeping problems!

Young Link: WELL EXCUSE ME, IDIOT!

Proxi: FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

Me: Lil' bro, can you not use words like that, please? Sometimes they can be mean and hurtful. Well, unless you're talking to Link. You're fine then.

Young Link: Oh, I'm sorry! I shouldn't have been mean. *smiles sarcastically at Link*

Link: NOW YOU LISTEN HERE-

Me: LINK! Stop pestering the better version of yourself.

Link: WHAT! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! HE STARTED IT!

Me: SHUT UP!

Link: Well excuuuuse me, princess!

Me: That's right! I'm a princess and you should treat me as such! Now be a good little boy and ANSWER THE SECOND PART OF THE QUESTION.

Young Link: Well, my first thought was that I just found myself a new big brother. Before he started being a complete JERK to me.

Link: That's how big brothers are supposed to be! Besides, it's not fair that our enemies are too nice to hurt a child!

Me: Well why don't you start wearing a diaper and a bib on the battlefield? Do you need me to get you a binky?

Young Link: *giggles*

Link: ...I should never have come here.

Me: Awww, does someone need a hug?

Link: Don't even touch me.

Me: ...Ouch. Do I need to get your girlfriend?

Link: ZELDA'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND.

Me: Who said I meant Zelda? I totally meant Cia.

Link: You did NOT go that far.

Me: Nah, I really didn't. I did mean Zelda.

Link: SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND OKAY?

Young Link: It's been official for a while now. They've totally been going out. Don't even ask what it's like at night.

Link: Have you been spying on us?!

Young Link: Um... no...

Me: This is getting long. Let's call it a night, mkay?

Link: FINALLY. *gets up to leave*

Me: Hey Link. Have fun with Zelda tonight. *winks* Well, if you even can... that was a nasty kick...

Link: IT'S NOT EVEN LIKE IT'S A BIG DEAL, OKAY? IT'S GONNA HAPPEN AT SOME POINT IN EVERYONE'S LIFE!

Me: WOAH! Please don't get into details!

Proxi: Try BEING there! He always forgets that I'm there!

Link: DIN BLAST IT! WHY CAN'T YOU GUYS JUST GIVE ME SOME PRIVACY?!

Young Link: I have been scarred for life... THIS is the guy I grow up into?

Me: Yowzah... better tell Ghirahim not to prank him tonight or he'll be getting a fist to the face. With the gauntlets. Wouldn't be the best way to go. Jeez, this was a long chapter. Yeah, definitely T-rated. Poor, poor Link. Him and Young Link really hate each other, huh? Ahh, brotherly love.


	11. Chapter 11

**12th question from TwilightPrince101: **

**Tingle: Since you like fairies so much, what was your reaction to seeing the Great Fairy?**

Me: Oh gosh... I'd think that would make any fairy-lover reconsider!

Tingle: Oooh! I'll tell you the story!

Me: Um, okay...

Tingle: So it all started one fine day when I just so happened to stumble aross the Fairy Boy!

_*Flashback* _

Tingle: *watches battle going on* Oh! Is there a party? Why are there so many people here? Was I invited? I think I was! I BROUGHT BALLOONS AND CONFETTI! KOLOO-LIMPAH!

Link: *notices Tingle* Aw hell no... not THAT guy... *tries to hide behind shield*

Tingle: *sees Link* OH MY GOSH! IT'S THE FAIRY BOY! FAIRY BOY FAIRY BOY FAIRY BOY HEY WAIT COME BACK!

Link: RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

Zelda: We need assistance from the Great Fairy!

Tingle: GREAT FAIRY? Where?! FAIRY FAIRY FAIRY FAIRY FAIRY FAIRY FAIRY FAIRY FAIRY!

Link: *facepalm* Farore help me...

Zelda: Follow me to the Great Fairy Fountain!

Tingle: OKAY!

Hyrulean Troops: Uhhhh... should we be concerned for this guy, or scared of him?

Link: Both.

*Zelda, Tingle, Link and Hyrulean Troops arrive at Fairy Fountain*

Tingle: WHERE'S THE GREAT FAIRY?

Zelda: We must pray to her together.

Tingle: CAN DO!

Link and Hyrulean Troops: I can't wait to see his reaction!

*Great Fairy appears*

Link and Hyrulean Troops: *giggles*

Tingle: ...

Link: I bet he doesn't like fairies anymore after that, huh?

Tingle: ...Can I touch it?

Link: *facepalm* And this is what you get for underestimating a 35-year-old immature man who is obsessed with fairies. YA KNOW WHAT TINGLE? YOU CAN HAVE MY FAIRY.

Tingle: REALLY? Ooooh, thank you so much!

Proxi: NO! LINK! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! NOOOOOOOOO! I PROMISE I WON'T BE ANNOYING!

Link: Hehehehehe. Now maybe Tingle will stop being so immature! Two birds, one stone!

Proxi: You won't take me alive! No! *flies back into Link's tunic*

Link: Proxi, wait, no, don't fly down there!

Zelda and Hyrulean Troops: *all start laughing at Link who is currently on the ground*

Link: STOP TICKLING ME! STOP IT! OKAY ALRIGHT I TAKE IT BACK YOU'RE THE BEST FAIRY EVER AND I WON'T EVER GIVE YOU AWAY!

_*flashforward*_

Me: *bursts out laughing* Good job, Proxi! You get an A+ for that one! I wish I coulda been there!


End file.
